Dog Jokesters Gifts

'When did you teach him to play dead?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'I'd like to return this, please.'

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

"Now turn your head and bark."

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

"Pssst. Fake poop."

"Yeah well, now that we're married, he's not making any effort: he hasn't been to a grooming appointment in months!"

"Sometimes Bob wags when he's happy—but these days, it usually means he just tooted."

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

Dogs texting each other emojis

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

"Look, Mommy. Puppy already knows a trick! What should we call him?" "How about 'Scooter.'"

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

Dog leaving operating theatre in a hurry with a bone in his mouth

Select a song: Another Dog Barking. Lots of Other Dogs Barking. Howling. Siren. Doorbell. Dog Karaoke.

'I'm afraid you're just going to have to accept that dogs just don't like you.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"He wasn't quite dark enough to name 'midnight' so I named him ten o'clock."

"Who's my good widdoo headless dog?"

Employees Must Lick Themselves Before Returning to Work.

"Gas was passed, you get the blame, that's the system."

"No, honest, I just sat on a squeaky toy."

Dog sees venus fly trap catch a fly and copies it...

"You're the first dog I've introduced to my parents. I know they're gonna love you."

House with 'Dog For Sale' sign. Cat walks by holding 'Good Riddance' sign.