Dog Joke Enthusiast Gifts

'Don't worry, my dog is around the rear.'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Shake! Good Dog."

Dog wearing a cone

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

"Try to blame that one on the dog."

The continuing adventures of Rex, Washington DC insider.

Rogue elephant

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

Balloon dog training

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

Cuthbert was a pit of a party animal

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

Swine flu

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

'I've been sentenced to five weeks while they go on holidays... What about you guys?'

'The pats on the head are nice, but I need more compensation...'

"I don't have any money. I'm a mullet."

"So the old man says 'you're getting fixed,' and I'm thinkin', you know, maybe he's gonna patch up the hole in my doghouse..."

'Oh, and if a Farmer John calls, I'm not here.'

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

"Get a life."

"It's the police dog again. He'd like to ask you a couple more questions."