Dog Joke Aficionado Gifts

'I'm not allowed to have a dog, so I have to eat my own homework.'

'It's a shaggy dog storey.'

"Shake! Good Dog."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

'The Buck Stops Here.'

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

Penguin

Rogue elephant

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

Blind man feeding an empty fish tank

The continuing adventures of Rex, Washington DC insider.

"Try to blame that one on the dog."

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

Balloon dog training

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

"He ran out of pee."

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

Cuthbert was a pit of a party animal

Various Birds of Pray.

"In lieu of barking, he recorded a sweet diss track about you."

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

"I'm here to join the riot squad: you see, I have a natural ability to disperse crowds. . ."