Dog Joke Aficionado Pillows

'I'm not allowed to have a dog, so I have to eat my own homework.'

'It's a shaggy dog storey.'

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Shake! Good Dog."

'The Buck Stops Here.'

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

Penguin

"Try to blame that one on the dog."

Rogue elephant

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

The continuing adventures of Rex, Washington DC insider.

Blind man feeding an empty fish tank

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

Balloon dog training

'Mint?! These taste like cardboard!'

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

Cuthbert was a pit of a party animal

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"Okay, which one of you called me CANDYASS?!"

"He ran out of pee."

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

Various Birds of Pray.

"I'm here to join the riot squad: you see, I have a natural ability to disperse crowds. . ."

"In lieu of barking, he recorded a sweet diss track about you."

Swine flu