Dog Joke Admirers Pillows

'I know I should be thankful I have a good home, but if he talks baby talk to me one more time, I swear I'll go for his throat.'

"I was almost that last year."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

'Mint?! These taste like cardboard!'

Balloon dog training

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

When Dogs Appear To Be Thinking.

Cuthbert was a pit of a party animal

Penguin kid to parents: 'Big deal! You're grounding me!'

'The pats on the head are nice, but I need more compensation...'

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

"Get a life."

Seriously, try leaving them out for a day. They're delicious al dente!

The bad news is, Fluffy ate the squeaker out of her toy. The good news is, it's going to sound hilarious coming out.

Dog sees venus fly trap catch a fly and copies it...

House with 'Dog For Sale' sign. Cat walks by holding 'Good Riddance' sign.

"Go on. Throw the stick."

'Oh goody, chunky soup!'

'It's a shaggy dog storey.'

Beg here. Pay here.

"And have various, random strangers scratch behind your ears four times daily."

'When did you teach him to play dead?'

"Don't make me beg."

Dog urinating on a work of art.

Dogs playing strip poker.

'I didn't come when called? Have you tried Twittering me?'

"We're in for the night."

'I've got a dog and I'm worried that it might catch avian flu from a turkey and develop a new strain of caninebird flu that I might catch!...Have you got something I can take to stop that happening?'

Bottled Toilet Water

"I think my name is 'stop that' but I don't know for sure."

"I've got problems with the IRS. I haven't filed in seven years."

"I don't know why we need a qr code when all they have on the menu is dog food."

Pecking order - pecking out of order.