Dog Joke Lover Pillows

House with 'Dog For Sale' sign. Cat walks by holding 'Good Riddance' sign.

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Shake! Good Dog."

Dog wearing a cone

Dog on a Shelf.

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

Balloon dog training

"Oo, I get to write a memo! I'm excited! I'm excited!"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

Cuthbert was a pit of a party animal

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'

I was allowed to chew this. But not that

"Get a life."

Prodigy - Woofgang Amadeus Mozart.

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

Seriously, try leaving them out for a day. They're delicious al dente!

'That's the problem with Dacshunds, you can never tell whether they're coming or going.'

"You hit the ball- that's ping. Your opponent hits the ball- that's pong!"

The bad news is, Fluffy ate the squeaker out of her toy. The good news is, it's going to sound hilarious coming out.

'Oh goody, chunky soup!'

"You say: It's nothing more than jealousy inspired backstabbing. I say: It's the fourth report of butt-sniffing I've had this week."

Dog sees venus fly trap catch a fly and copies it...

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

'Tell me this isn't celery.'

'That's the worst case of fleas I've ever seen...!'

'You can sniff out pet supplies on aisle five.'

'I know I should be thankful I have a good home, but if he talks baby talk to me one more time, I swear I'll go for his throat.'

"And have various, random strangers scratch behind your ears four times daily."

Oh, jeez, I should remember this guy! How do I sniff him without him knowing I'm sniffing him?

'When did you teach him to play dead?'

"I promise I won’t get upset. Just tell me why you chewed up her Chanel pumps."