Dog Joke Enthusiast Pillows

'Don't worry, my dog is around the rear.'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Shake! Good Dog."

Dog wearing a cone

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

The continuing adventures of Rex, Washington DC insider.

"Try to blame that one on the dog."

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

Rogue elephant

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

Balloon dog training

'Mint?! These taste like cardboard!'

"Okay, which one of you called me CANDYASS?!"

Cuthbert was a pit of a party animal

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

Swine flu

"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

'I've been sentenced to five weeks while they go on holidays... What about you guys?'

'The pats on the head are nice, but I need more compensation...'

"I don't have any money. I'm a mullet."

'Oh, and if a Farmer John calls, I'm not here.'

I was allowed to chew this. But not that

You're lucky - I wish mine was such a picky eater.

Seriously, try leaving them out for a day. They're delicious al dente!

"So the old man says 'you're getting fixed,' and I'm thinkin', you know, maybe he's gonna patch up the hole in my doghouse..."

"Get a life."

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'