Canine Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"Actually, neighter tap or bottled. Toilet please."

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

"So the old man says 'you're getting fixed,' and I'm thinkin', you know, maybe he's gonna patch up the hole in my doghouse..."

'They want me to exercise- so get me a squirrel to chase.'

'Would you like a little rawhide while you're waiting to be served?'

"I've cut out the mornng coffee. To many urges to mark my territory right in the middle of big meetings."

"I tried some in college, but I never inhaled."

A dog wearing an L plate around his neck chases and barks at a learner driver.

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

"Shake! Good Dog."

Dog fetching clown shoes.

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

'The Buck Stops Here.'

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Dog on a Shelf.

"Hurry up, I'm hungry."

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

Penguin

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

The First Cone of Shame.

Pet Entertainers

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

The continuing adventures of Rex, Washington DC insider.

Blind man feeding an empty fish tank

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

"Try to blame that one on the dog."

Rogue elephant

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.