Pet Joke Enthusiast Gifts

"What say this week you be the cat and I'll be the dog?"

"It get it – you're hungry."

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

Pet Entertainers

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

The First Cone of Shame.

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"Try to blame that one on the dog."

Rogue elephant

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

The continuing adventures of Rex, Washington DC insider.

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

Doggy conductor

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

The Karate Kitten.

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

"Okay, which one of you called me CANDYASS?!"

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

Dog Calenders.

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"