Dog Walking Jokesters Gifts

"Who's my good widdoo headless dog?"

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Now turn your head and bark."

"Pssst. Fake poop."

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"He was a rescue."

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

"Sometimes Bob wags when he's happy—but these days, it usually means he just tooted."

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

"Look, Mommy. Puppy already knows a trick! What should we call him?" "How about 'Scooter.'"

'I'm afraid you're just going to have to accept that dogs just don't like you.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

House with 'Dog For Sale' sign. Cat walks by holding 'Good Riddance' sign.

"Gas was passed, you get the blame, that's the system."

Dog sees venus fly trap catch a fly and copies it...

Employees Must Lick Themselves Before Returning to Work.

"He wasn't quite dark enough to name 'midnight' so I named him ten o'clock."

'I know I should be thankful I have a good home, but if he talks baby talk to me one more time, I swear I'll go for his throat.'

Rex would soon discover the eerie similarity between a playful growl and a warning growl.

'It's a shaggy dog storey.'

"Hold on, I just have to send a P-mail."

'Hi, my name's Bernard and I'm an alcoholic...'

'When did you teach him to play dead?'

"Can we cut across the park and avoid Colony Lane? There are three squirrels in an oak tree I’d like to avoid."

'You'd better come in while I phone the mail order bride company and tell them there's been a mistake.'

'I've decided it's worth forsaking my reputation as man's best friend for this opportunity to tell you I've always hated you with a passion.'

"We need to talk about your diet."