Animal Jokester Gifts

Horse Play.

'I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?'

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

101 uses of a dead cat: chaps.

"For God's sake Dennis, that was the budgie!"

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'Mom, I think Petey needs to be changed.'

"Mmm thanks for the delicious blueberry lolly chaps."

'It was just a matter of time, old cowpuncher, 'til one of them punched back.'

'I don't know how, but he has the bird flu.'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Yes, one is a dog."

Hats and Food

"Scuba cow"

'Jurassic Pork.'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

No jay walking.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

'Bird Watching is fun, but it tends to make me salivate...'