Pet Jokesters Pillows

'When I said 'pipe and slippers' I meant...'

Kid to dad about pet door on fishbowl: 'It's a dogfish.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

Cats at private view

Dogs life

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

Flowers? My girl prefers a dead mouse!

Clown walks balloon dog

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'