Dog Humorists Pillows

'I think I'll skip this particular market.'

"Do you have this in a cat?"

'The mutton dinner? -- and you a SHEEP DOG?'

"You, on the other hand, she'll welcome with open arms!"

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"No no, I said sit!!"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

Hats and Food

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Scuba cow"

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'Jurassic Pork.'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Yes, one is a dog."

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."