Animal Humorists Pillows

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

Customer:'What's new?' Assistant: 'We've just received a shipment of Columbian parrots!' Parrot: 'Polly wants some crack!'

"Sprechen ze MOO MOO?"

"Must it be a frenzy every time you feed?"

'I go by my full name, Wood Charles.'

'Hey Mom, why can't we live in a two storey house like they do?'

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

Spider trap.

'Baskerville, that's right: The Hound killed by Sherlock Holmes was one of my ancestors...'

'It's your turn. I crossed the road yesterday.'

These models are starting much too young.

'We thought we'd buy a few bottles of duty free wine before migrating north for the summer.'

Dog wiping windscreen with tail

'You promised me a night of unbridled passion!'

'Well I don't care what these placemats say. I think we're perfect for each other.'

'I say we change the word bears to humans and put this sign on their grocery store.'

'How come there are no DOG BURGLARS?'

The Mud is a terrible thing to waste.

'I'm afraid it's going to make us a laughing stock, dear!'

Animal Philosophers.

'I must admit I panicked when I first saw the low bone-density test results, but since you're a bird, it's all good!'

Cool comb over dude!

"We finally found something in common - we all hate that stupid cat of yours."

"Listen, I'm too old and tired to chase mice around, so if you're discreet and don't show yourself to my humans, we can cohabit. . ."

"And that, my son, is how you can drive all the neighbourhood's dogs mad in one hit..."

Rabbit's revenge.

"He used to squawk. Now all he does is tweet!"

"Geez man. Who keeps a mouse for a pet anyway."

"Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston and this is Dogs Might Fly."

"I love bamboo too, but I'm still not going to mate with you."

'YAY! PATE!'

Possum bungee jumping from branch with bungee tail.

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

'Who says octopuses can't tango? We were doing great until I ate the trumpet player.'

Fluffy's purring is a little rough. I think she needs a tuneup!