Dog Comedian Pillows

'It took months of training but now she'd rather sip a martini than fetch a ball.'

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

'Where it asks, 'head of household'. . . who is it. . . you or Marmaduke?'

'Smart? This dog can bark in five different languages!'

'Why in the world do you want to log on to the vet doctor. who did a 'fix' job on you?!'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

"Hello 911? Yes it is an emergency. It's my ball. It's gone right under the sofa."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"No no, I said sit!!"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

His Master's Thesis.

'Oh, oh, a pack of dogs! Stand still amd maybe they won't notice us.'

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

Dogs life

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

Woman leaves dog in rain...he gets into a car to wait in the dry.

"I finally caught you... now what?"

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."