Animal Joke Fans Pillows

'What - pigs can't fly?! Why wasn't I informed of that before??'

"The "Antelope Chess Club" is advertising the date, time and place of its general assembly! Methinks we'll pay them a visit..."

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

"Author does not do tricks."

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

'Oh Hi!'

The americanisation of vulture.

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

Great moments in art dogs playing poker, cats playing Pictionary,

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

Where Shaving Cream Comes From

'Ha ha! No kidding! You're pretty much most people's worst enemy.'

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

"Don't listen to her! She's a cuckoo: what would she know about parenting?!"

"Hurry up, I'm hungry."

"This isn't helping my migraine."

"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"

'What happend? I thought you went to the dentist for a cleaning.'

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'

"I rented out the basement."

Why giraffes hate winter

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'