
"Half my students have Post Assessment Stress Disorder."
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"Half my students have Post Assessment Stress Disorder."
School. That vocabulary quiz was hard! Did you know how to use "gruesome" in a sentence? It was simple. "The gardener likes flowers so he gruesome."
'You see! I told you there was a school right beneath us!'
Sir, what's the D stand for?
'He thinks he's so superior, just because he's the only one here with 'O' level science.'
Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."
Intelligent people laugh too!
A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'
'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''
"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"
"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."
'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'
'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'
"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"
'It's your four basic food groups.'
'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'
'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'
"So a horse has 6 legs, forelegs at the front and 2 at the back?"
Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'
"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."
'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'
History. The worst past is my dad says they're still making history!
Party Schools...
Laboratory: Protons /Electrons/Morons
"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."
"Rolling pizza cutter."
'Today: The collective unconscious...'
'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''
"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."
'No, fear isn't one of the basic taste sensations.'
"Aw, Miss! Why do you always pick on me to answer the questions?"
A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.
"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."
'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'
"5 second rule!"
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