Med School Joker Gifts

Surgeons keeping score of successes and fatalities.

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

Virtual Doctor

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

Laboratory: Protons /Electrons/Morons

'It's called a bedSIDE manner, Doctor.'

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

'No, fear isn't one of the basic taste sensations.'

Graduation Day At A Party School

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

'Who gets the penile implant, him or me?'

Patient charts

"Hey Frank, how was your colonoscopy?" "In and out."