Med School Joker Prints

Surgeons keeping score of successes and fatalities.

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

Virtual Doctor

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

Cardiologist Henry Weil like to add some levity before surgery by hiding a whoopee cushion on the operating table.

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

'Dr. Federson has performed this procedure so many times, he could do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. Show him, doctor.'

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

History. The worst past is my dad says they're still making history!

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

Laboratory: Protons /Electrons/Morons

'It's called a bedSIDE manner, Doctor.'

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

'No, fear isn't one of the basic taste sensations.'

Graduation Day At A Party School

"Aw, Miss! Why do you always pick on me to answer the questions?"

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

'Who gets the penile implant, him or me?'

Patient charts