Scholarly Joker Gifts

'This qualifies you to make educated guesses.'

"This is unbelievable. I think I forgot to graduate."

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

Intelligent people laugh too!

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

'Hard or soft science?'

"So a horse has 6 legs, forelegs at the front and 2 at the back?"

"Out, damn'd Spot, out I say! Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

'The most moving part, for me, is when they explain how to fuse the main pipe to the power hose.'

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

Laboratory: Protons /Electrons/Morons

Keats's heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains his sense.

'Good book?'

'You again? OK, pal... I'm deleting you and this time you're going to stay deleted!' ~ the screen saver of Dorian Gray.

Skywriter's Block

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''

Undergraduate and don

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

Graduation Day At A Party School

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

''IQ'? -- I thought this was a haiku test!'