Satirical Joker Gifts

Must resist urge to mock inspirational posters

Bully accepts Paypal, Venmo or Bitcoin

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

Photobooth Photobomb

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"Out, damn'd Spot, out I say! Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

'The most moving part, for me, is when they explain how to fuse the main pipe to the power hose.'

'I'm surprised the boss isn't in here checking up on us!'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

'Good book?'

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

Here lies BoBo the Clown

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

Toilet humour

'You again? OK, pal... I'm deleting you and this time you're going to stay deleted!' ~ the screen saver of Dorian Gray.

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Keats's heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains his sense.

Skywriter's Block

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

No infrastructure problem here

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

"Now go home and forget about your amnesia..."

"His legs yurn to jello when he wears Relaxed Fit jeans."

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'