Ironic Jokers Gifts

'Always remember son, if at first you don't succeed, blame someone else'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

Giggle.

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

Artist Painting his Television.

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

'That's what I said,dear-your dinner's in the chippie..'

"Kayakers Fred! Let's surface next to them and check the look on their faces!"

To save space, we eliminated hallways and doors, by adding catwalk and ladders.

How electric eels "welcome" door-to-door salesmen

Watch for Men Being Supid

The Gardener's Calendar: If your fish pool is covered with ice...make a hole in it.

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

How to avoid a heart attack.

"I took your advice."

"So...are you still saving up to buy a 1964 Chevy Impala now that Joey has one?"

'O.K. people, it's time to test our work...'

'Nope! Wrong again! Let's try it again... around and around... now which cup is your nitroglycerin tablet under?'

'I've never felt so alive...'

"On my right is Mr. Darius, who'll fill you in on our corporate counterculture."

'No cup holder?'

Seagull humour.

'You spent all day mashing a can of a hundred baked beans and drawing a little man on them to look like pennies?'

Sticker: 'How's my driving you nuts?'

"Shaving your head takes the guesswork out of going bald."

Have a CRAPPY New Year!