Academia Jokers Gifts

"Have you ever considered it may be genetics?"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

it's back to school time, Frank. I think I have everything I need. I have a new backpack, pens, pencils, erasers, notebooks and, of course, a mask. We don't need those anymore. Speak for yourself. Zzzzzzz.

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

'Hard or soft science?'

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"This'll show the Theology Department."

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

History. The worst past is my dad says they're still making history!

Laboratory: Protons /Electrons/Morons

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

'Dr. Young is a professor at one of the nation's leading party schools.'

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

"As a summation of our work it's pretty accurate...apart from the beginning, middle and end of all the words in between!"

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

Thomas Carlyle

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

Physics 101. An object in motion remaining in motion is an example of what law? Easy come, easy go!

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

Big man on Krampus

How about you? Have you picked a major?