Academia Jokers Pillows

"Have you ever considered it may be genetics?"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

'Hard or soft science?'

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

'Dr. Young is a professor at one of the nation's leading party schools.'

Laboratory: Protons /Electrons/Morons

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

"As a summation of our work it's pretty accurate...apart from the beginning, middle and end of all the words in between!"

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

Thomas Carlyle

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

That's Roderick Sloan, the Alvin Meriwether professor of business administration, and with him is Alvin Meriwether, the Roderick Sloan professor of economics.

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

Dept. de Philosophie