College Joker Pillows

Graduation Day At A Party School

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

Laboratory: Protons /Electrons/Morons

Southwick College: Basically, for the most part, usually - a meritocracy.

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

'Wow, that sounds rigorous. What are the prerequisites for living in my mom's basement?'

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

Big man on Krampus

'I'm sorry...we're not sure you're self obsessed enough.'

'But your book proved that gravity is a very weak force.'

'I got a darn D-plus, and that's WITH cheating!'

"Where am I going to find the perfect thesis topic that hasn't been on TikTok already?"

Talk the talk...

Professor Clown teaches advanced physics

'What about short-term? Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

'I hope it's a taste test. There are no right or wrong answers on a taste test.'

'My son is in college and switched out of engineering into fraternity partying. He days he finds it less intense.'