Schooltime Jokers Gifts

'I'm beginning to enjoy these long walks with you every day.'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

it's back to school time, Frank. I think I have everything I need. I have a new backpack, pens, pencils, erasers, notebooks and, of course, a mask. We don't need those anymore. Speak for yourself. Zzzzzzz.

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

Giggle.

"But, Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

'It's Johnny Taylor's snowsuit, but I don't think he's in there.'

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

Student writing on blackboard - I will not egg the principal's car.

'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

"Aw, Miss! Why do you always pick on me to answer the questions?"

'No, fear isn't one of the basic taste sensations.'

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

'Headmaster I'd like to report Biggins and Small who were caught this morning consuming trans-fats behind the bicycle shed.'

'What's our exit strategy?'

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

'Try doing something constructive this summer, like going out and capturing some of your school clothes.'

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

Final Exams Today

I wasn't cheating...I was getting a second opinion.

"So...what did you learn in school today, Baldo?"

World Religions 101. Today's lecture is about minor denominations --- Stop calling it "sects education"!

"Since I'm your favorite student, do I even have to take this test?"

Do I get extra credit for neatness?

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

'My grades don't look good right now, but I can fix that in Photoshop.'

"Back to school...you mean there's more?"

"It wasn't me jumping up and down and yelling in class. It was the sugar talking."