Schoolwork Humorist Gifts

"I guess the dog has been eating Kevin's homework. She knows addition,subtraction, and most of the alphabet."

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"