School Life Humorist Gifts

'I saw the school nurse put that sign up.'

"My mom wants you to dispense my happy pill just before I get on the bus for home."

"I went into teaching because I've always loved crazy parents."

'Do you ever feel we're having too many inoculations forced on us?'

School uniform shop

Students with backpacks walk in front of doors marked School Counselor, School Nurse, and School Chiropractor.

'Say what you will. All I know is, my grades have skyrocketed since I started cheating off the foreign exchange kid.'

"I don't understand, Baldo. I mean...I'm trying to find an excuse for bad grades."

Rapunzel as a child.

Announcement over school PA: 'We're going to begin this week with an all-school search for Mr. Ridley - last Friday's substitute teacher.'

Even guest speaker, Conan the Custodian, a legally registered immigrant, couldn't hold the student's attention in the slacker's class.

Back to school: The Horror,

Girl to other re: Drama Class: 'Is that where all the girls gossip and fight over guys?'

'It's one of those 'Nuisance calls' from my teacher.'

"I brought a note explaining why I showed up today!"

Kid about report card: 'I had technical problems.'

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

'I got ten dollars for my birthday, Miss, Kellerman -- what time do you get off work?'

"4 out of 3 people struggle with math"

"Mom says teachers wear many hats. . . and I can't wear just one??"

"Do you really think this will work?"

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'