Countryside Chuckler Gifts

'I won't introduce you - he's an arable farmer. Absolutely arable.'

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

World of Cow.

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

Marmalade the Cheetah on stilts.

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

'He's been like this ever since he found out that he's a Rare Breed ...'

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

Jesus Seals the Hick...

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

"Sounds like a lot of 'EIEIO' to me!"

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

We only follow one star round here, buddy!

"On this diet, you can eat all you want of anything you can grow."

Erm...what the hell is cud, anyway?

They're short of staff!

'It's bad news I'm afraid,we're asprins'

Jaeger

Oh, those are just photos of my first 1,000 kids – I haven't shown you the second 1,000 yet.

"He's been like this ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."

Look lively ladies! We have 2 milk poachers at 3 o'clock!

'You've played Pooh sticks right?'

'Hey buddy, what happened to your hair?'

'Cold hands, warm heart,' my ass, thought Bessie.

'I'll admit it, Hank, that's the worst backlash I have ever seen.'

'I say we rendition the snow to Guantanamo!'

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

Bull in field lurking behind tree waiting to ambush ramblers.

"Yes, I'm vegan and no longer eat the prey animals but it's still a lot of fun to kill them!"

"I'm not on the train today dear, I've got flu."

Did we stampede through a Gay Pride Rally?

"That was one GREAT salesman!"

"I didn't jump, I fell asleep waiting."