Healthy Giggler Gifts

'Even at your age, Norman, getting an STD is nothing to be pleased about.'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The Main Types of Cheese

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'House wine?'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

"I think it's important to have a hobby outside of work...mine is eating chocolate."

"Fresh ground anti-depressants?"

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

"It was the food critics who gave our soup the two 'reallys'."

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'