Healthy Giggler Gifts

'Even at your age, Norman, getting an STD is nothing to be pleased about.'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The Main Types of Cheese

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

Batman's Baby

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'House wine?'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"I think it's important to have a hobby outside of work...mine is eating chocolate."

"Fresh ground anti-depressants?"

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

Cavemen Exhibit

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

Today: Tomato Surprise. Of course the tomato surprise doesn't impress you, sir … You’re not a tomato.

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

Deviled HamDeviled Eggs.

"It was the food critics who gave our soup the two 'reallys'."