Nurturing Giggles Gifts

Two breasts: No waiting

'You lifted your head.'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

J. Wilbert Dentist - Sorry We're Open

"What would you recommend pairing with the school of cod fish?"

'Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the people who have to work with you.'

A centi-stampede.

'I forgot to bring my lunch - could I clone yours?'

'I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't always fast enough...'

'Oh, sure, the world gets a savior, and what do I get? Hemorrhoids the size of grapefruits!'

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

'If you want me to mount you 22-pound bass you've got to let go of it.'

'Do you realize that you have several passages of scripture right on the tip of your tongue?'

'... blast off!... Uh-oh. Houston, we have a problem.'

"Where's the Viagra?!" "Where's the fire escape?!"

"O.K., in three... two... one..."

"Too righteous?"

'I revel in competition. I have two charities, right now, vying for my $50 donation.'

'We've put Father O'Brien in charge of minor sins.'

Pogo-stick and the Gardener.

'Daisys squirting-no punch line'

'My first was a 'climber,' too.'

'We found it washed up on the beach and thought it would make a nice water feature.'

A Foot Guard being teased by children.

"I'm not on board with this."

'I'm afraid neither of my parents are at home... Are they Dad? '

'Even at your age, Norman, getting an STD is nothing to be pleased about.'

New! Stick-on Stigmata

'Hey your hair is on backwards!'

"How's your sense of humor? We're looking for an auditor who knows how to laugh."

Beware Electric Fence.

"You can always tell the pediatricians."

'Gareth, would you stop making mountains out of molehills?'