Guarding Giggles Gifts

A Foot Guard being teased by children.

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

Kid tows his large dog in wagon with 'wide load' sign.

'It was this big. I swear'

J. Wilbert Dentist - Sorry We're Open

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

'Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the people who have to work with you.'

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

'I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't always fast enough...'

Two breasts: No waiting

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

"When I asked you of you were ready for this promotion, you flailed uncontrollably. Was that a lie?"

"It's too bad you're allergic to nuts."

Beheaded ghost says to spook: 'It's just a trial separation.'

'Do you realize that you have several passages of scripture right on the tip of your tongue?'

"Too righteous?"

'We've put Father O'Brien in charge of minor sins.'

Pogo-stick and the Gardener.

"How did the marathon go?"

'My first was a 'climber,' too.'

Beware Of The Hog...

'We found it washed up on the beach and thought it would make a nice water feature.'

"This day and age it's necessary."

'Daisys squirting-no punch line'

'I'm afraid neither of my parents are at home... Are they Dad? '

'Even at your age, Norman, getting an STD is nothing to be pleased about.'

'I don't know, it just no longer feels that original.'

"How's your sense of humor? We're looking for an auditor who knows how to laugh."

'Hey your hair is on backwards!'

New! Stick-on Stigmata

Don't worry, you're fine - I'm just having with a latch. A-1 Gate Repair.

'The spirit is very positive about your future...'

Beware Electric Fence.

"You can always tell the pediatricians."

"If we do run into any complications, Gerry will just Google it."