Guardian Of Giggles Gifts

J. Wilbert Dentist - Sorry We're Open

"Too righteous?"

"You can always tell the pediatricians."

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

Clown God

Beware of the Dog Hair.

Kid tows his large dog in wagon with 'wide load' sign.

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

'Ok...something, but nothing you'd care about. Honest!'

'Polly wants a machine gun.'

'Whoops!'

'Seriously, Earl, if you say you've got a bone to pick with me one more time, I'm out of here.'

"I tied his line around this log, then I tug on it once in awhile. He's gullible, because it's been three hours now."

See, no monster under your bed

When suddenly the clouds parted and down came Jeez, a god appalled by how his name is used in vain.

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

Beheaded ghost says to spook: 'It's just a trial separation.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Who ate all the pieties?"

"I think I'm picking up a 'holier than thou' vibe here."

'I revel in competition. I have two charities, right now, vying for my $50 donation.'

'Sorry I'm late - there was a mixup, and I got reincarnated in Naples instead of Nepal.'

Remember that club you threw last month and couldn't find?

'My first was a 'climber,' too.'

Beware Of The Hog...

"This day and age it's necessary."

A Foot Guard being teased by children.

'He won't hurt you - just don't make any sudden moves.'

'Officer, I think that young man is trying to steal that old lady'

"Goopta feels that enlightenment should be fun."

'I'm afraid neither of my parents are at home... Are they Dad? '