Gatekeeper Giggler Gifts

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

Don't worry, you're fine - I'm just having with a latch. A-1 Gate Repair.

Beware Of The Hog...

J. Wilbert Dentist - Sorry We're Open

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

To get past the gates of Heaven you have to now enter an internet style password

Freeway exit signs: Regulation, Deregulation, Reregulation.

If you ask me, pets shouldn't be allowed in the House of Commons...

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

"Your PA isn't due up here for another 27 years. You'll just have to answer the questions yourself."

"Venice! What will climate change think of next?"

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

'The government is DETERMINED to get rid of the 'target culture'...in fact we've committed to reducing targets by 68^ across 75% of the 76 most target driven departments within 96 days!'

'I assume you have paper work to back up all these time travel business expenses.'

"When I asked you of you were ready for this promotion, you flailed uncontrollably. Was that a lie?"

Heaven Security Checks.

"Actually, I'm just the night manager here."

"Go on in. You're the first onslaught."

'I can't believe I locked my keys inside, again!'

'Yeah, Saint Peter here. I locked myself out again.'

"I've discovered a timing device on my wall."

'I don't care who you have a note from!'

"Too righteous?"

IRS: 'Ours and Theirs.'

"I don't care if you are the invisible man, sir, I can't let you in if you're not wearing a tie!"

'Relax...I heard our opponents today are huge pussies.'

"This day and age it's necessary."

"There's a man here who wants to add insult to injury."

"Our perks and massively generous pensions don't sit comfortably with my conscience...sacrifices will have to be made!"

'It's a cease and desist order. States that we can't keep anyone out. It's based on the ruling: The more the merrier.'

'I'm afraid neither of my parents are at home... Are they Dad? '

"Honesty may be the best policy, but it will never get through congress."

Heavens gate 'Please enter, Do not fear to tread'

"Ms. Davis, get us some binders full of Latinos."

"You can always tell the pediatricians."