Gatekeepers' Giggle Gifts

Sign on the Pearly Gate with an arrow pointing to 'Drug Testing Center.'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

"All we have left is standing room only."

Kid tows his large dog in wagon with 'wide load' sign.

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

"Man...and...wife...GO!!!"

"Go on in. You're the first onslaught."

"Actually, I'm just the night manager here."

'If you want me to mount you 22-pound bass you've got to let go of it.'

Heaven Security Checks.

'I can't believe I locked my keys inside, again!'

'Yeah, Saint Peter here. I locked myself out again.'

'Do you have a reservation?'

'I don't care who you have a note from!'

"I don't care if you are the invisible man, sir, I can't let you in if you're not wearing a tie!"

USBULA United States Bureau of Unnecessarily Long Acronyms

"This day and age it's necessary."

"There's a man here who wants to add insult to injury."

Remember that club you threw last month and couldn't find?

Beware Of The Hog...

'It's a cease and desist order. States that we can't keep anyone out. It's based on the ruling: The more the merrier.'

Civil & Uncivil Servants.

"I'm sorry, but Mr. Barclay is not putting up with people like you anymore."

Don't worry, you're fine - I'm just having with a latch. A-1 Gate Repair.

"It's a no-go area."

Heavens gate 'Please enter, Do not fear to tread'

Just my luck. Someone moved Heaven and Earth.

Unbelievable! Who keeps taking my pens?

'Sorry -- we're overstocked on bald guys right now.'

Welcome to Flower Ridge - Traditional values strictly enforced.

St Peter shaving the heads of angels

'Where in heavens did I leave that key???'