Guardian Gatekeeper Giggler Gifts

'Sorry -- we're overstocked on bald guys right now.'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

Kid tows his large dog in wagon with 'wide load' sign.

J. Wilbert Dentist - Sorry We're Open

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

'He never listened to his mother!'

"Your PA isn't due up here for another 27 years. You'll just have to answer the questions yourself."

'Ok...something, but nothing you'd care about. Honest!'

'Polly wants a machine gun.'

"Pop, what part of ‘rest in peace’ don’t you understand?!"

In the houseplant cemetery.

"Hey, there's a spare key hidden under this cloud!"

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

'Seriously, Earl, if you say you've got a bone to pick with me one more time, I'm out of here.'

See, no monster under your bed

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

'Well, not his very last words, just his last words on twitter.'

Dog steals a bone from a cemetery.

"She always said she'd only share this recipe over her dead body."

"So for you being buried alive was largely a negative experience?"

Burke and Hare and Hare

"It was three hours before we realised that he wasn't playing dead."

'I assume you have paper work to back up all these time travel business expenses.'

"Go on in. You're the first onslaught."

"Actually, I'm just the night manager here."

Heaven Security Checks.

'McNulty never subscribed to the theory that he couldn't take it with him.'

'He really wanted to be cremated. . .'

Palindrome grave

Grave with satellite dish.

"Too righteous?"

"I don't care if you are the invisible man, sir, I can't let you in if you're not wearing a tie!"

Punch in the churchyard