Giggle-provoking Guardians Gifts

Kid tows his large dog in wagon with 'wide load' sign.

City Zoo: Day Care

"He likes it."

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

J. Wilbert Dentist - Sorry We're Open

Caution. Slippery when wet.

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

Mobile phone damage to children.

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

Shepherd watching sheep on closed circuit TV

'Ok...something, but nothing you'd care about. Honest!'

'Polly wants a machine gun.'

"If the stock market goes to infinity, would we be able to pay off the national debt?"

'Seriously, Earl, if you say you've got a bone to pick with me one more time, I'm out of here.'

"Apologies, sir. The mansion is haunted by Randy, the master's late spaniel."

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

'Isn't it great Darling: The kids are now old enough to have dinner ready when we get home...'

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

'You couldn't just lock him up somewhere, could you?'

"What channel is David's summer camp on?"

'Unfortunately, Rex didn't realize he was about to pee on an electric fence...'

Grandparents with their grandchild (colour).

"…Ok, tough guy, see this scar? Prius hit me—didn’t even hear it coming." "I got that beat. Right here: three-year-old woke me from a nap with a fork."

"Mrs. Jennings, can Billy come out and smoke?"

"Too righteous?"

Never divulge your credit card pin number to your children!'

USBULA United States Bureau of Unnecessarily Long Acronyms

"If you connect the measles, it spells out 'My parents are idiots.'"