Giggle-provoking Guardians Gifts

Kid tows his large dog in wagon with 'wide load' sign.

City Zoo: Day Care

"He likes it."

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

J. Wilbert Dentist - Sorry We're Open

Caution. Slippery when wet.

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

Mobile phone damage to children.

'Polly wants a machine gun.'

Shepherd watching sheep on closed circuit TV

'Ok...something, but nothing you'd care about. Honest!'

"If the stock market goes to infinity, would we be able to pay off the national debt?"

'Seriously, Earl, if you say you've got a bone to pick with me one more time, I'm out of here.'

'Isn't it great Darling: The kids are now old enough to have dinner ready when we get home...'

"Apologies, sir. The mansion is haunted by Randy, the master's late spaniel."

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

See, no monster under your bed

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."

'Unfortunately, Rex didn't realize he was about to pee on an electric fence...'

"What channel is David's summer camp on?"

'You couldn't just lock him up somewhere, could you?'

Grandparents with their grandchild (colour).

'The kids just get so upset when a pet dies, so we decided to get one of these tortoises that live to be 150.'

"Mrs. Jennings, can Billy come out and smoke?"

"…Ok, tough guy, see this scar? Prius hit me—didn’t even hear it coming." "I got that beat. Right here: three-year-old woke me from a nap with a fork."

Sometimes I worry about you, Axel. Teenagers are a big source of anxiety for their guardians. You don

"Too righteous?"

Never divulge your credit card pin number to your children!'

"You gave him his own social media account? That's adorable!"

USBULA United States Bureau of Unnecessarily Long Acronyms