Whole Grain Giggler T-Shirts

'How can it be whole if the wheat has been ground into a powder?'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

The Main Types of Cheese

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

Moo! OOM!

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'House wine?'

"Fresh ground anti-depressants?"

"I think it's important to have a hobby outside of work...mine is eating chocolate."

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"It was the food critics who gave our soup the two 'reallys'."