Financial Fumbler Gifts

"I accidentally logged into Turtle Tax instead of Turbo Tax a month ago and I'm still trying to get our W-2 information entered."

"Your broker called. You're broke."

Just in: Condolence cards for the small investor.

"Relax! It's NOT a heart attack! The owner's manual says to expect intense panic during the unpacking stage, as you wonder how in the world you're going to pay for yet another totally impulsive purchase. It should pass in a day or so!"

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

"Your repayments start now!"

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

'I love it when you say - 'I'm going to print money'.'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

'Reminds me of how I balance your pay packet each week!'

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'The salary isn't much, but the expense account to entertain the boss, ohh-la-la!'

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

Dog Beginning For A Loan

"Beats me how I managed before getting a financial support animal."

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

"Goodbye cruel world."

Ten business commandments, city trading floor

'That's much better.'

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

'Our finances remind me of a Picasso painting. He had his Rose and Blue periods. Our checkbook has its Red and Black periods.'

'I wonder if I can declare you as dependents on my income taxes?'

Man goes from instant cash machine to instant spending.

"By now, you've probably noticed that around here, money talks and you-know-what walks!"

'May I leave early today, Sir? The market is down and my wife is alone...'

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

Investments: Still Open to New Investors - 'A fool & his money fund.'

"I hate it when he makes snow angels in his bonus."