Financial Funambulist Gifts

'Reminds me of how I balance your pay packet each week!'

Food prices.

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

'I love it when you say - 'I'm going to print money'.'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

Wall Street Money Never Sleeps. They've obviously never seen my investment portfolio.

"That was a rumor day."

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'Till debt do us part...'

'He, also, rebounded our stocks with our endorsement deal.'

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

'My Dad won't let me tell what I did on my summer vacation...he doesn't want anyone to know where he set up his offshore bank accounts.'

"Sorry, the only way we can afford a 3D printer, is if it can print some bearer bonds."

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

Bookkeeping Club

"Goodbye cruel world."

Dog Beginning For A Loan

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

Ten business commandments, city trading floor

'That's much better.'

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

Masochism for stockholders.

"By now, you've probably noticed that around here, money talks and you-know-what walks!"

'I wonder if I can declare you as dependents on my income taxes?'

Canine Bank and Trust. I'd like my account to roll over. I'll go fetch it.

Investments: Still Open to New Investors - 'A fool & his money fund.'