Financial Funnies Fan Gifts

"The guy on the next island wants me to float him a loan."

"To remind me of costs, I've replaced every 's' in my shopping list with a dollar sign."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Loan Alley

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

Jumping Wall Street.

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'Till debt do us part...'

'Money, that's what seperates us from the apes.'

Black hole-in-the-wall at Jodrell Bank

'It's a retrospective of Bernanke's most obtuse economic jargon...'

News and Magazines. Record Debt. Dollar Down. How can the dollar be weak when we've been giving it such a good workout?

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

'Well, son... I've made my first million by selling my unpaid bills to the paper-recycling guy!'

Dog Beginning For A Loan

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

'My Dad won't let me tell what I did on my summer vacation...he doesn't want anyone to know where he set up his offshore bank accounts.'

'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

IRS. That was a rough audit. They disallowed all of my deductions! You can't claim all these people as dependents ... The business expenses are not correct ... and the charitable contributions don't meet guidelines. You're shredding my return with that?! Wow! Ut was The Taxes Chainsaw Massacre!

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

'Can I help? You bet your bottom dollar I can.'

Credit card campaign ad

"We've made such good progress with your stress management levels, that I feel able to risk a small setback."

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

'There's been a big bank merger, sir, so you now have a joint checking account with a Mr. Slavomir Bezparyadok of Zagreb.'

'You thought I'd gone out of business? What gave you that idea?'

'I'm going to refer you to a doctor. You seem to have developed immunity to winning stocks.'

"Not to worry mum - I've spotted us a Banksy!"