Finance Fun Fan Gifts

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

"#Win!"

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

European currency on the edge.

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

World Economic Crisis.

Economy - USA.

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

"Now I'll demonstrate how, with a minimum of capital investment, you can make a mountain out of a molehill!"