Financial Fan Gifts

'All we want is to be loved while making obscene profits.'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"#Win!"

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

European currency on the edge.

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

World Economic Crisis.

Economy - USA.

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."