Financial Market Fan Gifts

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

European currency on the edge.

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

Economy - USA.

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

What do you suggest we do about this?

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

'I enjoy the old-fashioned pleasures - a walk on the beach, plain food and piles of cash.'

"I don't like the look of this."

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

"Our initial public offering, .... The public has gotten wind of it!"

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'

'You go without me. I'm feeling a little down today.'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

"Bad news on Wall Street today, as the bottom fell out of the market, the sides collapsed, and the top blew away."

Piggy Bank Coin I.V.

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

'And this just in from the stock market... buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy!'

Circa 1490: The area we now know as Wall Street.

'So, Pharaoh, what sort of collateral do you have to put down on this $2 billion Great Pyramid you want to build?'

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

The Cashless Society is Here

"Good news on Wall Street today"

August is corporate earnings restatement season.