Financial News Fan Gifts

'I know you purchased the stock at fifty and now it's ten, and they filed for bankruptcy, but let's not read too much into that.'

'Today, the dollar rose against the coconut, the banana, and the guava.'

'We've got to stop him watching Robert Peston.'

'The market goes up, the market goes down. And that's our business report.'

'To be more like 'reality TV' we're adding a laugh track during up markets, and sobbing noises during down markets.'

Days without bailing anyone out.

'Following the market news is not helping your manic-depressive state.'

"Stocks today declined sharply, but gracefully."

"Stock dropped on news a study said adversity is good for the soul."

"Today stocks and bonds dropped, but the decimal point held steady."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

European currency on the edge.

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

Economy - USA.

What do you suggest we do about this?

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'I enjoy the old-fashioned pleasures - a walk on the beach, plain food and piles of cash.'

"On Wall Street today, news of lower interest rates sent the stock market up, but then the expectation that these rates would be inflationary sent the market down, until the realization that lower rates might stimulate the sluggish economy pushed the mark

The symbol for the euro (?) depicted as the wheel of a wheelchair, symbolising the state of the currency

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'

"Our initial public offering, .... The public has gotten wind of it!"

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'

"This just in... All new Euro notes are to be printed on Greece-proof paper."

'You go without me. I'm feeling a little down today.'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

Piggy Bank Coin I.V.

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''