Financial Markets Fan Gifts

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"Since the 'insider trading' probe, the I.R.S. is watching Milton."

"Your postpartum depression can be traced to 'selling low' in your sock portfolio."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

European currency on the edge.

Economy - USA.

What do you suggest we do about this?

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

"I don't like the look of this."

'I enjoy the old-fashioned pleasures - a walk on the beach, plain food and piles of cash.'

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

"Our initial public offering, .... The public has gotten wind of it!"

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

'You go without me. I'm feeling a little down today.'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

"Bad news on Wall Street today, as the bottom fell out of the market, the sides collapsed, and the top blew away."

Piggy Bank Coin I.V.

'And this just in from the stock market... buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy!'

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

'So, Pharaoh, what sort of collateral do you have to put down on this $2 billion Great Pyramid you want to build?'

"It's a sci-fi-nance- when the DOW is 100,000."

"Good news on Wall Street today"

Circa 1490: The area we now know as Wall Street.

'These are tough times for wall street tycoons...the best we can do is laugh half-way to the banks.'