Stock Market Fan Gifts

"Bad news on Wall Street today, as the bottom fell out of the market, the sides collapsed, and the top blew away."

'What's wrong with me, Doc? Lately I've been feeling bullish.'

'The stock market is mostly an index of consumer sentiment - So on a scale 1 to 5, how happy has your money made you?'

Leave your hat on, we're going straight to the shareholder's meeting.

'No this isn't one of those disaster movies. It's the News.'

'Do you have a ringtone that sounds like the opening bell on the New York Stock Exchange?'

'But, Pop ... I thought bears hibernated in the winter.'

My department will NOT take the blame for that lousy quarter...we were ALL hibernating!

'These are tough times for wall street tycoons...the best we can do is laugh half-way to the banks.'

Toy City Trader - Pull string and watch him panic

"The dotted line is my self-esteem."

"I'd like to file a defamation suit. 'Bear markets' is a derogatory term."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Will work for ETFs

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

European currency on the edge.

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

Economy - USA.

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

A child runs an equity stand.

What do you suggest we do about this?