Stock Market Fan Gifts

"Bad news on Wall Street today, as the bottom fell out of the market, the sides collapsed, and the top blew away."

'What's wrong with me, Doc? Lately I've been feeling bullish.'

'The stock market is mostly an index of consumer sentiment - So on a scale 1 to 5, how happy has your money made you?'

Leave your hat on, we're going straight to the shareholder's meeting.

'No this isn't one of those disaster movies. It's the News.'

'Do you have a ringtone that sounds like the opening bell on the New York Stock Exchange?'

'But, Pop ... I thought bears hibernated in the winter.'

My department will NOT take the blame for that lousy quarter...we were ALL hibernating!

'These are tough times for wall street tycoons...the best we can do is laugh half-way to the banks.'

Toy City Trader - Pull string and watch him panic

"The dotted line is my self-esteem."

"I'd like to file a defamation suit. 'Bear markets' is a derogatory term."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Will work for ETFs

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

European currency on the edge.

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

Economy - USA.

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

A child runs an equity stand.

What do you suggest we do about this?

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'