Financial News Aficionado Gifts

Stock Market.

"The two most feared words on Wall Street used to be 'accounting issues.' Now it's 'Trump's tweet.'"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

"What's a debenture?"

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Stock market investment advice

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

'There are only three things that matter in this world, son... bottom line...'

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

The burden of carrying the Euro.

"On Wall Street today, news of lower interest rates sent the stock market up, but then the expectation that these rates would be inflationary sent the market down, until the realization that lower rates might stimulate the sluggish economy pushed the mark

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

The symbol for the euro (?) depicted as the wheel of a wheelchair, symbolising the state of the currency

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

Economy.

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'

Occupy Budget Balancing

"It seems to be right about this point that our company started going into free fall."

'Hi, I'm the ghost of your past, present and future stock portfolio!'

Pulling The Economy Uphill

'The rich get richer, but what do the poor get?'

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

"This just in... All new Euro notes are to be printed on Greece-proof paper."

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'