Reading Financial News Gifts

Stocks are going up as is the chart at the end of the man's bed.

'The market dropped on the news some IRS refund checks said 'do not cash until next Friday'.'

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

"Why do you say bad words when you read the stock prices?"

Mario Draghi

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

'It's our own consumer confidence test. Throw some nickels out and if they're picked up in 5 minutes confidence is really low!'

'The recession is over, again.'

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

Netanyahu versus Gantz

"On Wall Street today, news of lower interest rates sent the stock market up, but then the expectation that these rates would be inflationary sent the market down, until the realization that lower rates might stimulate the sluggish economy pushed the mark

The symbol for the euro (?) depicted as the wheel of a wheelchair, symbolising the state of the currency

"And then, like an idiot, I turned to the boss and said 'Maybe the stock market isn't the only thing that's been overvalued!'"

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

"This just in... All new Euro notes are to be printed on Greece-proof paper."

"Up market, down market - he's still the same old curmudgeon."

"Bad news on Wall Street today, as the bottom fell out of the market, the sides collapsed, and the top blew away."

"Which way up do you want it?"

Giant merger.

World Financial Mafia

"Since when did economists become sociologists?!"

It's 10 P.M. does anyone know what 'sequestration' means?

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'

'U.S. stocks surged on news that the government they all hate won't go out of business.'

'The Dow has shot up 2.5% on positive data on housing - until five minutes from now, when it'll be interpreted differently.'

'Stocks fell on the news that whatever can go wrong, usually does go wrong.'

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

'Skip the comics. Let's get on to the financial page.'

The market went up and down, up and down, up and down...

News and Magazines. Record Debt. Dollar Down. How can the dollar be weak when we've been giving it such a good workout?

" ... and markets closed lower today on news that markets would close lower today."

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

'I hear it's a grudge match between the three of them.'