Financial News Buff Gifts

The symbol for the euro (?) depicted as the wheel of a wheelchair, symbolising the state of the currency

"Was the Dow to die for today, or what?"

Recession? Not Yet

Energy providers go bust

"Relax- just a flight of U.S. mortgage lenders!"

The Euro

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

'The bad news is that we lost a lot of money last quarter... The good news is that it was a record.'

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

Standard & Poor

"On Wall Street today, news of lower interest rates sent the stock market up, but then the expectation that these rates would be inflationary sent the market down, until the realization that lower rates might stimulate the sluggish economy pushed the mark

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

I brake for federal bailouts.

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

"This just in... All new Euro notes are to be printed on Greece-proof paper."

'...and the Nikkei closed down on the day.'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

"Right now I'm mostly in cash."

Mr. Dow meeting Mr. Jones

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

'Mr Sims, in honor of your portfolio, we're flying our flag at half-mast.'

'Money, I'm home!'

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'

'U.S. stocks surged on news that the government they all hate won't go out of business.'

'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'

'I just checked my portfolio and it's worth a small fortune. Unfortunately, I started with a large fortune.'